My farewell letter to Carlos Beltran

Baseball is a business. Ten years is how long it would take me as a kid to understand why my first favorite player, Nolan Ryan was pitching for that other team in Texas. As far as I knew, there was only the Astros. To me, he’s always an Astro. I have been spoiled. While Yankees fans celebrate the amazing Derek Jeter’s 3,000^th hit with accolades about him doing it with one team, I smile because they are probably so self-absorbed they act like he’s the only one to do it. I’m spoiled because I know what that’s like- to have your favorite player only play for your favorite team. When I was 11, Craig Biggio was in his second year and I was spending my summers just south of Houston and I was in love. His baby face, and his scrappy play (a catcher at the time) had me staying up every night to see if he would be interviewed on the late night news. In 6^th grade, I would draw hearts on my book cover with Biggio written inside. A young Roy Oswalt would pick on me for liking Biggio and the Astros both. I never knew enough about the business of baseball until later in life so it never occurred to me that Biggio might not be an Astro. Later, when Roy signed with the Astros, I thought he would be an Astro for life too. The relationship fans have with baseball players is love/hate. But not with your favorite players…with your favorite players, they are always going to come through, they are always going to make the diving catch, and they are always going to NOT play for your bitter rival. I was relieved when Craig Biggio retired as a Houston Astro. Obviously, when that happened, I was more averse in baseball politics and financial considerations and felt like I dodged a bullet.

Last year when Roy was traded to the dreaded rivals of the NY Mets, I got a dose of reality. Trying to marry the feelings of wanting him to win a world series with the feelings of how much I despise the Phillies turned out to be just as awful as I thought it would be. Torturous- like watching the Yankees and the Phillies in the World Series. So, I should be prepared for what’s about to happen. I should be, but I am not. I'm not ready to say goodbye to the moment Carlos will always be remembered for...striking out looking in Game 7 of the NLCS06. It was supposed to be different. Happen to another player- not Carlos. Not part of the heart and soul of the Mets...

Carlos Beltran was a Houston Astro and while I wasn’t surprised when he signed with the Mets, I also wasn’t a Mets fan when he signed with the Mets. But, when I was falling in love with the Mets in 2006, I was falling in love with a team that included (as Lucas Prada points out- not one Carlos, but two!), David Wright, Jose Reyes, Paul Lo Duca, Pedro Martinez, Billy Wagner, Tom Glavine, etc. I remember Beltran in the 2006 NLCS hitting homeruns that sounded like cannons going off. I thought the Mets were perfectly amazin. I couldn’t believe I could love a team and the players on the team so much after just a few months of Bulldog dragging me to see them play at RFK and listening to the Fan at night. Carlos has never been one of my “favorite Mets” or baseball husbands. In fact, since Craig Biggio, it’s been hard for me to have a favorite player at all. Just look at the list of NY Mets I have proclaimed as my favorite- Fernando Tatis, Omir Santos, Ryan Church, Frenchy, Angel Pagan.,.and of course my boy Murph. On a team of superstars, I have gravitated towards the not-superstar player. But when I think about the last five years, I have slowly watched through trades or injury, the team I fell in love with dwindle away. The 2006 Mets were supposed to win it all in 2007 and again in 2008. A team with David Wright, Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran was supposed to do it all. Now, they never will. Much maligned because of his insane contract, Carlos Beltran never deserved constantly be the poster child for bad contracts. He was an easy target because he made so much money, yet watched strike 3 blaze past him in the bottom of the 9^th in Game 7. A year later, I would read a story in the NY Times about how his wife had mis-carried their first child the day before, yet he never mentioned it for months. His professionalism and his well-documented mentoring of younger players and even his peers makes him golden.

When Beltran went outside the team’s purview to have knee surgery, I think most Mets fans sided with him instead of the team. He became the poster child for injury mismanagement by the Mets. Sometimes he looks like he is the last standing remnant of the 2006 team…when David and Jose were both out of the line-up, he was. And this year, he has provided flashes of greatness on a team that is made of guys who probably want to refer to him as Mr. Beltran. His renaissance this year makes me think of what could have been…what should have been. I jokingly referred to him as KNEES this season because I could never remember which knee was frail or had been operated on. Sometimes he looked like he was in pain rounding the bases, and other days, he was playing when the Mets said he would get days off. When the Mets were grinding, a dozen games under .500, guess who was NEVER not in the line-up…Carlos Beltran. Yes, he is playing so he can play again next year somewhere with a nice chunk of change, but he has given Mets fans so much to cheer in a dismal season.

When he hit the 2 run shot last night to tie the game, I got emotional and on the verge of a full out ugly cry thinking “I’m never going to hear Gary Cohen say ….and Beltran ties the game” again. In the end, Carlos didn’t give the Mets what he was paid to do- win a World Series. Now, a world series ring 5 years ago would not even make a dent in how I feel about him today. I wouldn’t be happier now if I was sporting a Championship shirt from 2006. I wouldn’t somehow feel like it was his time to go. I see Carlos exiting state left more as a “it’s a shame the Mets couldn’t have given you more Carlos”…not the other way around.

Inevitably, his departure will leave a gaping hole in the heart of this Mets fan, not because he was my favorite, but because he gave so much and because he was part of “the core” of a team I barely recognize anymore. I know it’s part of the game. I feel like I’m getting dumped by the prom king and he then goes and dances with a prettier girl. It stings. It sucks. And at the end of the day, I will cry when he’s traded, and I won’t know if it’s because it’s actually Carlos we are losing or if it’s just the beginning of a long goodbye to Jose Reyes…and eventually David Wright. I can’t completely segment the departure of Beltran out of the bigger picture. The reality that fans have emotional attachments to baseball players and they have none to us is not unique to baseball. But the day in and day out rigors of a baseball season means that there will likely be less than 24 hours between jersey changes for Carlos. Another fan base is going to be elated….their boos for Carlos will be turned into crazy applause and t-shirt sales. His new fans won’t know which knee is hurt either…and they won’t know just how special he is because they are just renting him to win a pennant. His new team won’t have the same love/hate relationship that he had with the Mets. They will mostly just love him. I will mostly just be heartbroken. I want to apologize to him and tell him that I’m sorry our fans boo’d him and that our doctors couldn’t fix him and that he deserved better. Of course, those things probably just matter to me. He is a professional. I will likely have to go through this dozens of times in my lifetime (if I’m lucky) and the baseball gods have been too good to me through the years so I’m paying the piper now as a Mets fan. But, if there is ever a day when one of the good guys on my team has to leave because my team failed, and I’m not sad…that’s the day I’ll stop loving baseball. The Wilpons (Mets owners) giveth and now they taketh away. But in Beltran, what they gave us was a star and a thousand wonderful memories. In this instance, what he gave us is so much more than whatever he leaves with. He will outclass any outfield he joins…hell any team he joins. And I will get used to hearing,….and tonight in right field ________.

Goodbye sweet Carlos. Love, me